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Our friends with a woman, a person who's overcome several obstacles, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's often blindsided in relationships. Her partner walked away, and it was a huge shock. Many of her friends disappeared then, as they were drawn to him. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in greater energy toward our bond, and must have realised more clearly the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, several in her circle have drifted apart without her being knowing the cause. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been highly competent, she departed without knowing what had changed.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we have each retired leading to more each other more, yet I realize my role between us is to listen. I open discussion points but she shifts the talk toward things she cares about. Regarding political views, she has strong opinions. My effort is to propose verifying facts or other angles.

She's been planning a trip abroad I have traveled to many times and lived in for a while. I tried to offer personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She really solely sought my agreement with her plans. I've just ended a month in that place she hopes to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate to act as a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, but I don't think she can understand the effect of her behaviour on my self-esteem. At this point, I find myself in pulling back. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, but it is not often the easy answer we hope for. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of resolution demands strength and openness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one is to state the usual pattern during your discussions. This needs to be objective and clear like an unbiased account. Step two is to express her how it affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no argument here. Your feelings are your feelings, naturally. The third step is to question how the two of you can shift the dynamics between you."

Keep in mind she too has a point of view, thus requiring you to remain ready to hear that. A helpful technique involves stating her:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

This can be successful in fostering understanding.

Key Takeaways

Your friend could ignore your concerns, as some people have a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story regarding their experiences they're unable to release since their identity depends upon it and it's all they've known. This is difficult as there is no thoroughfare in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might initially present like this then consider about what you've said. If a resolution isn't found an agreement, you'll have peace knowing you were honest with her.